enter the blues

I’ve been in a blues funk for at least six months now — and I really considered not attending EtB4 this year. But, I was housing coordinator, and Don and Tina would be there, so I decided to stick it out. Best Decision…of the Month. Four things made this weekend 100% worthwhile, each on their own. Here, listed in a vague order of increasing awesomeness in my mind…

1. I met Dan Repsch. Within twenty minutes of really meeting each other, we realized a mutual love of cuddling. Twenty-ish hours later, it was still going. I haven’t had such great cuddling in a very, very long time.

2. I got to see Kara & Dan perform. I was only newly friends with Dan, so mostly, I was there to see Kara. She’d thought I’d left, since I had to work this morning — but a big part of staying was to see her perform (and because Beth offered to drive so I could sleep). She kicked ass. And then I found her afterward to let her know how much she kicked ass…I’ll admit, we got a bit teary.

3. Performance by Paul and Amanda. It was the most emotionally intense performance pieces I’ve ever seen in my life. I am still in shock. It was strangely morbid and grotesque and beautiful — it was performed to the song “I Put a Spell on You,” and I really can’t describe it. Let’s put it this way: there was a collective pause at the end of their performance, because the entire audience had to process the morbid beauty of it all…and I cannot wait to review it in the video.

4. Swing outs with Don West. Like I said, I’ve been in a blues funk, and Don and I were dancing to the live band on Saturday night before I left, and we just weren’t feeling it. So, we swung out as hardcore as we could physically swing out. Halfway through the song, we had to take a breather because we were so out of breath that we couldn’t keep going at tempo. More than that, though, my legs were shaking and my chest was pounding from the intensity of the dance — but I hiked up my skirt and we started again. Most people in the room were watching us, I found out later (especially once Don started using me as a human shield from Heather’s camera, and Heather’s camera peeked up  my skirt at an attempt to get a good shot of him — there might even be video of that)…

Don gave me this huge, awesome hug at the end of it all — one of those hugs that emphasizes the mutual intensity of such an awesome dance…

Later, Dan Repsch also told me how awesome and intense the dance was, and that he’d discussed it with Heather Adams and a couple others, and he said everything in that voice of “holy fuck that was awesome.” Considering my blues funk, I needed a little affirmation of my dancing, and that song was it — and I’ll admit, a compliment from a lead I respect so much right now was really, really good for my self esteem

I never really expect people to compliment my dancing, but I live by others affirmations of my achievements — not because I want people to know I’m awesome, but because I am my toughest critic, and that can cause some self-esteem issues when I’m going through a crappy phase of body rolls and fishtails. And so when two people so awesome tell me that I did well — two people I respect so highly, and whose compliments make me blush and stutter — well, it helps out. A lot. And it just makes me want to dance more and improve more and BE…more.

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2 thoughts on “enter the blues

  1. The problem with Google-Reader-ing your blog is that I know you have a secret post, and that makes me want to read it. :) Because I like to collect information like that.

    <3

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