wishes for thieves

“wishes for thieves”

i wish them poor reception
and static on calls in a rural town
when they’re trying to call triple-A.
i wish them spam texts.

i wish them low battery
while playing angry birds.
i wish them a cracked screen.

later i wish them a dropped call
on an interview for a job they
clearly need. let their fingers slip
and by mistake send their mom
nude photos of their
small character. i wish them
auto-correct disasters.

let them think they have accepted
security in the universe
then bring them a thief
not unlike themselves.


If you haven’t heard:

A kid with nothing better to do and no morals or humanity stole my phone while I was eating lunch on my break at the mall on Monday. As soon as I realized what happened, I hiked my skirt up and chased after him wearing my heels – but to no avail. He had legs like a gazelle and disappeared around a corner after about half a mile. At least I made him work for it.

The worst part of this experience is that my sense of security has taken a severe blow. After all, the phone was sitting right next to me on the table – he invaded my personal space and took an item which I have next to me literally almost constantly. Yes, it is just a phone – but it is also my calendar, my email, and my book. Worst of all, he violated my trust of a common space I use on a regular basis.

The silver lining is that most everyone has been so beyond helpful – though it cost an absurd $170, insurance replaced my phone within twenty-four hours. And when that phone was malfunctioning, Apple replaced my phone without any questions, hoops, or hassle; in fact, it took me less than twenty minutes to get a brand new phone from the best Apple employee I’ve ever met (Ricardo, you’re still my hero).

I would like to give a special thanks to the police officer who helped me was incredibly competent and professional; I was a hot mess when I went to file my report, but his composed demeanor really helped calm me down. So, hats off to Officer Waldron for his attention to my mundane crime; my faith in the ultimate good of humanity was severely shaken, and your help gave me a much-need catharsis.


One thought on “wishes for thieves

  1. Find out where the Apple employee survey is, and put Ricardo’s name down for exceptional service. Sometimes it DOES make a difference and they get things for it.

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