There’s something strange about new beginnings which feels indefinite – like my mind and emotions have yet to catch up to the fact that my entire life is changing as we speak.
For example, there’s my family. I’ve lived two hours away from home for six and a half years now – and I’ve loved it. I went home as often as I could, and while that number had dwindled over the past few years, I still went home about once a month. I even regularly drove two hours home just to get the oil changed in my car at our local dealership. At the moment, I am having trouble accepting the fact that going home will now require at least a couple weeks planning, a moderate reserve of cash, and at least a day’s travel in both directions.
I haven’t yet accepted that going home will be so rare in the future.
I am also having trouble accepting that I’m not going to be an active member of the Atlanta Dance Scene. While Atlanta will always have a special place in my heart, and I know I will always be able to return, it is difficult to take a step back. There are beginners I want to teach and events I want to help organize. There are a lot of changes happening in the Atlanta scene right now, and I want to be part of those changes, because I want to help make the Atlanta scene the best it could be – but instead, I am leaving it in the (albeit, quite competent) hands of my peers.
It is even difficult to fathom that I am not going to be part of the Southeast or East Coast regional dance scene. There are so many events which I have attended, and my mind still plans on attending those events, even though I know the reality is cost prohibitive.
Right now, I am struggling to refocus my brain towards making connections on the West Coast. I have a new job to work at, new friends to make, and new events to attend. I know it’s all going to be great – amazing – but I also know it’s going to be an odd period of transition, and a potentially difficult one.
I look forward to looking back in six months’ or a year’s time and seeing how my life has developed. What friends will I have? Where will I be working? How will I get involved in the dance scene? Right now, I’m just trying to figure out where I’ll be living in three days’ time.